You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
