they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
