I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
