New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We left an ass print on the piano.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
