I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize