She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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