textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
