I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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