Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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