The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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