there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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