i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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