yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We need to get me chipped asap
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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