Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
