U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
