i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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