i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
