I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
