you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
