Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
