You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
