The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
