We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
