So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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