U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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