i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
