I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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