awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
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