Can i not drive my cunt home
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
