Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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