I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
