He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
