Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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