508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
