WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize