no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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