Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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