AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My cat gives me a boner
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
