Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
