my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
