Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
