STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
