He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
