the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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