Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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