All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
