shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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