do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
fuck your aforementioned shoe
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
