I am in a vortex of obligation.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
