have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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