Quick, to the slutcave!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize