He disabled his match.com account in front of me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize