dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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