when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
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I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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