I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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