My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
