Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
