mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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