Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
